Sep 5 2012 by Sara Bain, Dumfries Standard Wednesday
Total Recall (12A) — This replaces the 1990 film with Arnold Schwarzenegger and a triple bosomed prostitute.
Neither appears in the new film which remains earthbound for a sci-fi story of a former spy Douglas Quade (Colin Farrell) who works for the United Federation of Britain in a post chemical warfare Earth where the only other habitable place is the Colony, previously Australia.
Quade goes to a company called Rekall where artificial memories are implanted.
Persuaded to have memories of a secret agent implanted he finds that hidden memories of his own are unlocked and faces a nightmare trip to unravel his true identity – shades of Bourne?.
Convoluted but fast-paced and smart this is a sci-fi brain twister that may lack the intensity and charisma of the original but will keep you guessing right to the end.
Robert Burns Centre Film Theatre, Dumfries
Ping Pong (PG) — This charming documentary is about seriously old participants in the World Table Tennis Championships in Mongolia in 2010.
We meet Les, aged 89, and his 81-year-old rival Terry and 101-year-old Dorothy who would shame our Olympic heroes.
Treated with compassion and respect the film is a celebration of activity overcoming pre-conceived notions of what our elder citizens should be doing.
The Paralympics have a proven record of therapeutic benefits from sports and these hyper active pensioners put us to shame.
The Women on the 6th Floor (12A) — Set in Paris in the 1960s this is an upstairs downstairs story of an apartment building mainly occupied by well-to-do middle class families served by Spanish domestics who live on the 6th floor.
Jean-Louis Joubert lives with his stuck-up wife and starts to take a special interest in the maids, particularly young Maria, fresh from Spain where she has left her illegitimate child.
Fed up with his home life and his wife’s jealous accusations, he moves out and up to the 6th floor.
It isn’t as deep as The Help but, despite stereotypes, this is a charming, funny and sentimental tale.
Tomorrow morning and evening in traditional 35mm film.
The Expendables 2 (15) — A powerhouse of pensionable old timers such as Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger et al.
Stallone is the driving force in this battle of the mercenaries and there is no denying that the star team ooze quality and are no slouches when the action kicks in.
Stallone and Van Damme have a monumental bust-up, they blow up everything in sight and have a load of fun doing it.
Don’t be ashamed just enjoy it.
Keith Lemon: The Film (15) — Enjoyment of this depends on your reaction to the creator of Bo’ Selecta comedian Leigh Francis.
Is he the most irritating man on TV or do I just not get it?
It’s a sort of rags to riches story involving a phone with a lemon plus various guest appearances including Jedward.
The Three Stooges (PG) — It is doubtful that this will mean much to younger film goers but for the Farrelly Brothers and us oldies the memories of the slapstick shorts of the 1940s are a fondly remembered part of cinema matinees.
This recreates the gags and the slapstick in a tale of three orphans trying to save the orphanage that saved them. Sean Hayes, Will Sasso and Chris Diamantopoulos are dead ringers for Larry, Curly and Moe.